EPISODE 5 CHANGE
I fell on the ground.
People around helped me get up. But they didn’t realize that I was already dead
in my heart. I got up, and started walking. I went to the reception, called up
Kriti’s Parents and told them Kriti was dead, they asked me who I was, I cut
the call and walked away.
I went to my house,
closed my room door and cried to myself,
“Why did I take Kriti
to the park?
Why couldn’t have we
left the park 2 minutes later?
Why did we take the
Left side gate?
Why did she show up at
the end of the gate?
If,
Only I had taken
Kriti elsewhere,
If,
Only I had left
the park a minute later
If,
Only we had taken the
Right side gate
If,
Only she didn’t
show up at the end of the gate,
Kriti Would be Alive
Now. She would have lived. It was all my fault. I killed Kriti”. I couldn’t
take it. I just couldn’t. Moments that I spent with Kriti started popping up on
my head. Before I proposed to her we were hanging out a lot, one of the most
Memorable Moments I had with her was when she took me to an Orphanage.
It was my birthday,
Kriti was the first person to wish me, and she called me an hour earlier so
that she could be the first person to wish me. The time came, she wished me and
asked me to be ready at 11 in the morning, and she said she had a surprise for
me. My parents wished me later in the morning and said that were planning on
celebrating my birthday very grandly and they asked me to invite all my
friends. I said ok.
Then in a few minutes Kriti
came, and wished me again, she gave a smiling gesture to my mother and asked,
"Aunty, Can I
borrow your son for an hour?" in a smiling tone.
My mother also
sarcastically smiled and said
"Take him
anywhere you want".
I was standing there
like a joker in between them. Kriti then held my hand and took me in her scooty
to an orphanage, I kept bugging her on the way asking where we are going, But
she didn't reply at all, Later she stopped the scooty at a place, And said
look for yourself , I got down and looked up at the board, It said,
"Bill Boards
School for orphans"
I asked kriti in a confused
tone,
"Kriti are you
sure this is the place you wanted to take me on my birthday,"
She replied smiling,
"You are Cute.
Come with me"
She took my hand and
walked inside. It looked like normal orphanage, the building was yellow in color,
Cracks here and there, Bad infrastructure I said to myself. I regretted walking
in that building, but as I walked, I saw something beautiful, there were two
boys cutting a small cake and a group of boys and girls standing around them, the
cake was really small, I was wondering how it would be enough for so many
students. Both of them cut the cake together, First they fed each other a small
portion, Then they fed everyone around them, Some of them only got a tiny
portion of the cream, But still they were happy with what they got. The entire
scene was beautiful. Kriti took me to those birthday boys, and then she sat
down on her knees and took gift from her bag and gave it them.
That smile on their
face when they saw the gift, was truly a gift to watch. She then brushed their
hair and told them,
“This Anna, standing
here also has his birthday today, we gave you a gift, now you should also give
us some gift.”
Immediately I stretched
my hands towards her shoulder, she turned towards me and I asked her in a low
voice,
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t speak, she
just kept her hand over my hand and smiled. Then one of the boys came to me and
called me by tapping on my leg, I sat down on my knee and looked at his eye, He
signaled me to turn to the left, I turned and then he brought his two lips over
to my cheeks and Kissed me. That feeling was just out of the world, it was
truly amazing. Then I looked at kriti, she smiled at
me. Then the other boy also kissed me and both of them ran and started to celebrate
with the other kids. Then we both came out, I couldn’t take my thoughts of
those kids. I regretted walking inside that building but now I can’t let go of
it. I then stopped kriti and asked her,
“Why did you bring me
here Kriti”?
She replied,
“These kids, they don’t
have anything but still you saw the excitement on their faces when they cut the
cake. They had very little but still no one complained. What is on the outside
is not important Kunal but what is on the inside is what is important. I visit
an orphanage every year on my birthday, I thought I should take you also this
time, that’s why I called you”.
I was thinking all the
way till my house, about those kids. After I reached home I didn’t say anything
to Kriti or my parents, I just walked in to my room and I told to myself
“I should do something
for them”
Later at around the
night, all the birthday preparations were ready, and me, my parents and Kriti
and her parents were all waiting for my friends to come. My mother asked me in confused tone,
“Kunal, did you invite
your friends?”
I replied,
“Yes Ma, They will be
here in a while”
After a few minutes,
the doorbell rang, I opened the door and allowed the guests to go in. Everyone
were surprised to see the guests, they all stood up and their jaws dropped.
I had invited the kids
from the orphanage .My parents thought it was noble gesture, my mother came
to me, with tear in her eyes, She hugged me and whispered in my ear,
‘
“I’m Proud of you son, I truly am”
I then looked at kriti
while my mother was hugging me, she smiled at me, and I smiled at her.
Few days later,
Kriti’s parents came to my house, and told my parents that Kriti was dead and
that they were planning on moving elsewhere. My parents were awestruck, I was
standing right next to my parents, but I was looking at the ground, I couldn’t
look at them in the eye. I couldn’t tell them that I Killed their daughter. All
of them were Crying, It made me feel even worse, I walked away saying nothing.
They looked at me like I was disrespecting them, but they didn’t know I was
also crying in my heart.
I didn’t talk to
anyone in school and in my house .Days passed like this. My parents knew
something was wrong with me. My results started dropping. My parents Started
questioning me, I didn’t reply. Board exams came up, I wrote them and cleared
them at the edge. My parents Shouted at me. But none of this affected me.
Few days later, came
the next transfer order for my father. This time it was Chennai. My parents
were worried about me, they wanted me to change. They thought that this
transfer will change my life. My Mother came to me and said,
“Kunal, I know
something is going on and you don’t want to talk about it. But Remember past is
past, you have to move on with your future. Father got you into a good college
in Chennai, we will be moving their in a few weeks. Is it okay?”
I said in depressed
tone,
“It’s okay Ma. It’s
not like anything is going to change.”
My mother looked at me
in the eye and said as if she was very sure about it,
“Something inside me
tells that your life will take a turn after we go there”
She said this and
walked away with a smile. I thought to myself, I’ve already made my parents
suffer enough, I should not be hurting them even more, If Kriti were alive and
still in love with me she would have also advised me the same. So all the
packing was done by the end of that week and we moved to Chennai. I decided I
should leave all the memories of Delhi in Delhi itself. I couldn’t do that, I
laughed to myself and said,
“If only all problems
could be solved by mere thinking, the world would have been a better place to
live”
I had to divert my
thoughts to something else, I had a lot of things in mind but I cornered all of
them towards writing and singing. Writing has many faces, I opted to writing
about my life. Finally we finished unpacking, College wouldn’t open for another
two weeks. So I decided to divert my mind and start writing immediately.
Two weeks had passed,
College was going to open, I managed to fill up the book with my past life, now
it’s time to write about the Present and think about my future.
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