EPISODE 9 PAST IS NEVER DEAD

The cultural act sure spread across the college, I became really famous, Everyone congratulated me for what I did back there, But all this appreciation did not affect me at all, Every bit of appreciation was backed by Kriti’s past. I started missing Kriti more than ever, I stayed away from my friends, Preethi called me 5-6 times a day to make sure I was ok. But I ignored her texts and calls.

I was depressed, I Didn’t go to college for a few days after the cultural, My parents didn’t ask me why, they never did. I decided to go for a walk hoping it would relieve me, I wore my grey hood sweater and black track pants and went out. It was about 2 in the afternoon, while I was walking I saw few kids running around here and there, they were happy, They didn’t know much about Life, Or maybe they just didn’t care, They were living their life just right,  My mind started thinking,

“What if we could be a kid all the time, No money, No worries, No Pressures, Just living to enjoy, Wouldn’t it be beautiful?”

I thought if I try and relive my past it will take off the grief, I couldn’t exactly relive my past as my past occurred in Delhi, so I went to all the places in Chennai that were similar to the places that I and Kriti hung out in Delhi.

First I went to a park, I stood outside the gate and started thinking about the day that changed everything. I thought my life started there but it ended sooner than I thought. I visited an orphanage later, I saw those kids from a distance, they were happy, Kriti made me realize something very important about life over here earlier,

“You can be happy with what you have, Living under your father's identity is not life, You should create your own, The world must know you by your name, Not by your fathers”

 Then I went to a Hotel and sat down, I tried doing everything I could, But nothing actually helped me In forgetting the past. I didn’t know what more I could do to forget it. I just wanted to get rid of it. With all these thoughts in my mind I continued walking, I walked and walked and walked but nothing helped me, Then I sat down on one of the platforms, lifted the hood off and stretched my arms and legs. I sat there for a few minutes and told myself,

“There is no way past can be cured, As time goes we might forget the past eventually but the past is never actually dead. It lives, It vanishes, But Is never dead. There is nothing I could do about it, I have to accept my past.”

Kriti was always wise and cared a lot about me, She was there for me all the time, When I needed motivation she was there for me, When I was about to fall she held my hand, She was everything to me, I just didn’t realize Kriti would play such an important part in my life. Another instance came to my mind.

One day in school, My teacher caught me sleeping, She shouted,

“KUNAL… GET UP!!”

I was deeply asleep, Even if a cracker had been fired right next to my ear It wouldn’t have woken me up, But her voice was worse than a cracker” I got up half asleep.

She then shouted at me,

“You people have money at home, Why do you people come here and torture us,  You all can’t survive out in that world alone without your parents help, Such useless people you are”

I truly lost the love to live, No one had ever discouraged me like that, She killed my entire future in a second, she got me worried about my future. After the class Kriti came to me, She knew I wasn’t alright, She sat next to me and put her hand over my shoulder and said,

“ Look up there Kunal”.

She pointed to a Clock on the wall, Then she said,

“Look at that minute hand running, It is not just the minute hand, It is your life. I am not asking you to race through time, Just don’t waste time worrying about your past or future, Life is simple, our choices make it Complicated, It is never Late to Change, After all, Change is inevitable.”

These words did not just bring back my motivation but also made me realize the beauty of life.

Life goes on and on, There is no specific way to live life, It’s just our own choices. We make our choices, we must face the consequences. There are two sides to everything in this world, The negative side and the positive side, Some people choose to look at the negative side whereas some people choose the positive side.

I opened my eyes and thought to myself, We never really understand the importance of some people when they live but when they are gone, We just can’t accept that they will no longer be with us.

One has to forget his past but one should never forget the lessons he learned from his past, I was wondering about these and suddenly a phone bell interrupted my thoughts, It was Preethi,

She asked me in shocking tone,

“kunal…kunal…. Are you alright? “

-    “Yes Preethi, I am”

“Where have you been? I was really worried”

I replied in suspenseful tone,

-    “Preethi, I have to say something to you, Please just listen to me,”.

And without wasting a minute I opened up to Preethi about my Past life, About how I Was responsible for the death of Three People, I told her that I was depressed about it for a long time and that I thought everything would change if I moved from that place, But it didn’t, It only made it worse. I Told her about My Love Kriti and about how she removed the ruthless rich kid attitude from me and made me look at the positive part of life. I told her that I missed Kriti more than ever now and I felt like killing myself, I told her everything about my past life that ever was. I didn’t know why I told her that, But after this, My heart felt feather light, Preethi listened to me from the beginning till  the end without interrupting after I finished she said in a sad tone,

“Kunal…. Meet me at the restaurant tomorrow”

If seemed like she was almost going to cry, I wanted to ask her if she was ok, but she cut the call before I could finish, I tried to call her back but she switched off her phone.

Next Day, I went to the restaurant early, and I was waiting there for her. Then she came in, She didn’t look much happy, I thought that I made her feel bad talking about my past life to her. After she came and sat, I asked her

“Preethi did I make you feel bad after Yesterday?”

-    “No Kunal. You did the right thing, Tell me something Kunal, if I propose to you even after knowing about your past, Would  you accept me?” She asked,

I was confused as to why all of a sudden she asked me such a question, I didn’t know what to say to make her feel comfortable, but I decided to say the truth,

“Preethi, I loved the times we hung out together, You made me forget my past,  I too thought I loved you, But the Cultural event and days after that made me realize that True Love has no alternative. My True Love was Kriti. I can’t let go of her. I’m Sorry”

She replied,

“But she is dead, Why mourn over her your entire life, Why don’t you move on with your life.”

I smiled and said,

“She might be dead in person, But she Will live in my heart forever, She taught me a lot about life, She taught what my parents or my teachers couldn’t teach me in 20 Years, She brought me back to life, I cannot assume her as just another girl, She is irreplaceable Preethi”

She smiled in relief and then put her hand over to my hand and asked me to look towards her left, I was confused, I leaned my head towards the left and saw something.

My eyes Widened like a ball after that, My jaws dropped in shock and I couldn’t believe my own eyes, I Stood up, I stood up so fast that the chair I was sitting on went flying behind me. My Heart Stopped Beating for a few seconds.

The Three People whom I thought were dead because of me, Were Now Walking towards me.

Kriti, My best Friend, and my best friends love.